All of us have seen that iconic scene from “When Harry met Sally.” You know, the one where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm over lunch just to prove to Billy Crystal’s character that men can’t tell the difference between when women fake it and when they don’t. “I’ll have what she’s having!”
Although most of us don’t fake an orgasm over lunch, 80 percent of women have and do fake it in bed.
Scientists at the University of Central Lancashire and the University of Leeds asked over 70 women, aged 18-48, about their vocalizations during sex, whether they orgasm and if they didn’t orgasm.
The study concluded that women fake orgasms to speed up their partners’ ejaculation due to boredom, discomfort or time restraints. As women, we know how most men are goal-oriented and won’t stop until their partner climaxes.
But sometimes, guys, it’s just not going to happen. Once we realize it won’t happen, we put on our acting shoes and let you think it’s the best we’ve ever had. We also don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Yep, you read it right — women fake orgasms so that we don’t hurt our partners’ feelings.
Before any men reading this column look at their girlfriends and start questioning and blaming, you men need to know that this is a two-way situation. While men have been known to fake orgasm (around 36 percent), we women also know how hurt you get when your performance is questioned.
I recently got home from a month-long trip to Ireland and my longtime partner (we’ll call him “T”) and I couldn’t wait to see each other. We went at it like crazy!
Unfortunately, my body was still on Ireland time, and I knew I was just too tired. That orgasm just wasn’t going to happen, which to me was understandable.
Once we finished, T asked if I had an orgasm, and I said I didn’t and explained that my body just wasn’t back to normal yet.
You would have thought I had just slapped him by the look on his face. He took it as a personal attack on his manhood. Here I am thinking that honesty would be the best policy, and boy was I wrong! Silly me!
“If I would have faked it, would he have known? Or better yet, would it have saved his feelings? If we’ve become so comfortable faking it in our bedrooms, have we also become comfortable with faking it in our relationships?”
And remember: sometimes, we’re just not in the mood, but we still want you to have a good time.