As a full-time college student and recently single individual, a majority of my weekly schedule consists of studying, attending classes every day, extra curricular activities or sitting in front of a computer screen working on my own personal projects. Compared to the average (sane) adult, I do not have nearly enough time or energy to attend absolutely every social event—both on or off of campus—to meet new people.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve developed many friendships with people who I would’ve never known existed if it wasn’t for “dating” websites. The location of individuals range from living within the same town and state as I do to living halfway across the country and beyond. Though we all come from different backgrounds, we have exchanged ideas and that have allowed us to develop and think in new ways.
I recently met an woman from a dating website in person. Out of all of the people I’ve spoken to and interacted with online, she is the first with whom I’ve actually had the opportunity to shake hands.
Online, there aren’t as many awkward pauses in conversation in comparison to meeting someone new (in person) without any prior interaction. My belief in that notion only proved to be more true when I met this individual for the first time a couple weeks ago.
Before we met, we sent messages back and forth discussing everything from school to work to interests. When I shook her hand and said, “Hi, it’s finally nice to meet you,” talking came naturally. I, like many others, feel inclined or forced to keep the conversation flowing and at a constant; but in meeting her, I felt if we had already met because had already spoken prior.
You’re less likely to be tense looking at a computer screen at a typed message than having to look someone in the eyes, and you also have the option to freely express yourself as the person you truly are.
However, there are instances where people don’t actually end up being who they portray themselves as online. Being “catfished” is one of the infamous concerns of those who, like myself, frequently use websites to socialize.
To avoid the possibility of being catfished, I devised a plan to ensure that the person I was talking to was actually was who she said she was.
After talking for some time via the website on which we met, I asked her if she was interested in adding me on Snapchat. This was a simple yet safe way that I could make sure that she was the same person as the one in her profile picture without having to give out my cell number.
After a couple of days of using the mobile app, I felt I could trust her to move to Skyping. I wanted to observe how she would interact with me, as there was a constant flow of communication—something three to five second pictures and videos couldn’t give insight on.
Once I felt comfortable enough, I invited my new friend to meet my roommate, my roommate’s boyfriend and I for coffee before attending a game night with friends.
This ensured that there was a safe environment with others around so that neither she or I would be put into an uncertain or possibly dangerous situation that we had no intentions of being in. We hung out, had a couple of good laughs and plan to hang out again soon.
Overall, the experiences I’ve had developing friendships online have been positive. And as young adults, we have the capability to use dating websites to broaden our social groups without the stress of attending every social event.
