Having sex is one of the most intimate bonds someone can form with another person. Although sex can be fun, it is also one of those things people should perform with consent and care.
Many people put a significant emphasis on the things that take place before and during sex, such as the foreplay, mood and ambiance . Many people fail to consider is the aftercare that needs to take place once all the fun is over and both parties have cooled down.
Aftercare is the process after sexual intercourse where both parties take time to care for and nurture one another, especially after an intense session. Aftercare can look like many things, such as cuddling, reflecting on what happened, or gently embracing each other.
Although participating in aftercare is stressed more when people experience more intense and aggressive forms of sex, such as BDSM and other kink play, it is still just as important even when people have regular sex.
This fact opens the door for love and compassion to co-exist within such an intimate space.
Aftercare is not reserved only for those in relationships, as aftercare within friends with benefits situations or even a one-night stand is just as important.
It allows both participants to check-in , regroup from their activities and discuss how everything went.
Taking that extra step to check in with a partner can create a deeper bond with the other person but also create more trust in the bedroom between both parties.
When partners create this safe space for one another, they will be able to understand each other’s experiences and learn how to make it better for the next time.
Along with making the other partner feel better and understand their sexual experience, talking after sex can also demolish those shameful or guilty feelings that people associate with sex. Some people may link these unhappy feelings with sex because of the shame they may have received from society, family, or previous partners.
These same unpleasant emotions people feel after sex are not only experienced by women but men as well.
Often,men can be dismissed or overlooked in the emotions department because societal norms deem them solid and emotionless when in reality, everyone is allowed to be sensitive.
After sex care is also crucial for those who experience post-coital dysmorphia or after sex blues. This blues is an unexplainable feeling of sadness and irritability people can get after having intercourse.
The negative feelings that occur after intercourse have no clear source according to some research. , Still, some studies have concluded that they can be caused by stress, past abuse or trauma, hormones or overall feelings about sex.
In one study done in 2015, researchers found that 46.2% of women reported feelings of post-coital dysmorphia.
In another study conducted in 2019, researchers saw that 41% of men reported having experienced these same feelings within their lifetime and 20.2% reported having felt this way in the last four weeks.
Although these studies represent only a fraction of sexually active adults, it shows that both men and women need to prioritize caring for one another in the bedroom.
Sex should be a positive and fun experience for both parties where no one is left feeling guilty, ashamed, or unhappy afterward.