Every culture and language has a word for “love.” While we cannot see or quantify it, it seems to be something every human is born with the knowledge of. Unfortunately, the vast radiances of the word “love,” and all that it entails, have been hollowed by our culture, leaving us with its cheap and untrue spinoff.
Sex, a natural part of life, has been enshrined by the world as the ultimate object of love. It’s been ingrained in the American young adult brain that sex is an undisputed, indispensable part of a relationship, and is not something you have to think too hard about.
As a society, we are on the “make me feel good” quest rather than the “tell me the truth” one on most topics, but especially this one. Yes, of course, everyone yearns for affection. Human beings are relational beings, designed to be with other people. Yes, it’s true, there is a famished longing
within every human soul for satisfying relationships, it’s just how we’re wired. However, we were created for love, not sex. Love does not equal sex. And that’s what our culture gets wrong.
We, as young adults, are continuously being offered the cheapest version of communion and community that exists: casual sex. To make matters worse, casual sex has been completely normalized. We’re told it’s just another fulfillment of your human need, like the need for food or water. This will satisfy you, they say. This is what’s missing in your life, it’s an existential component of it, without which you will remain unwhole.
People have become so used to this repeating message, that no one stops to think about what they’re doing and why. Because sex is not just a recreational activity. When you decide to take that step with a person, it is not just physical bonding between two bodies, but a mental, emotional, and even spiritual melding of two psyches. It has a profound impact on human individuals and becomes harmful when taken lightly, because, as we continue to bond and break, we lose our ability to properly bond.
This idea of “casual sex” is the exact opposite of what the word “love” means. Love is not so weak and impermanent as to just be an excited feeling or fluttering in our chest. Love is not so shallow and momentary as to just be sex. For sex to have any meaning, it has to come from true love first. True, lifelong commitment, true, complete sacrifice, true faithfulness, and a desire to suffer together with a suffering person.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the following words in the next paragraph before. At a wedding, a Sermon or an inspirational message. They’re well known for a reason: they hold the key to true love. Love doesn’t abide in sex. Sex is just a vapor of air, while love is a priceless jewel. Don’t make the mistake of degrading one for the sake of the other this Valentine’s Day. Hold on to love.
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It’s not irritable or resentful. It doesn’t rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things. Believes all things. Hopes all things. Endures all things. Love simply is. And love never ends.
