A recent article in USA Today linked “too much TV to low sperm count.” Well hot damn. Slide me the remote!
Why am I so enthusiastic? Because low sperm count doesn’t equal shooting blanks. Researchers “could not say whether the differences in sperm count were big enough to have an effect on fertility.”
Perfect! Like most men my age, having kids is not on my immediate to-do list. But catching Game of Thrones and premarital relations are.
Judge me for my openness if you want. But les-b-honest, abstinence is a joke. Isn’t that what 40 Year Old Virgin was all about?
Some people are content with make-out sessions. More power to them. And guys still doing the five-knuckle shuffle, keep up the good work. You can stay on first base and put this down. But for those of you that like to go Ham! Wham! Bam! Thank you Mam! Keep ya eyes fixed.
First, a disclaimer. Watching more TV DOES NOT substitute practicing safe sex. Don’t act like UOENO. Especially if you’re like Juicy J and can’t say no to ratchet chicks. Always buy adequate protection. Support the neighborhood convenient store before you go from watching Maury to being on it. They keep a plethora of rubber nets for your baby maker.
A couple other factors should be considered that correlate to TV watching, such as diet and fitness. A study revealed that “those who exercised the most, more than 15 hours a week, had sperm counts 73% higher than those who exercised the least, less than five hours a week.”
So, gym rats be extra careful hittin’ the sheets. And if you care to lower your sperm count while being sculpted, spend more quality time with your significant other watching Scandal. She’ll appreciate you more and you can bare with it.
Doubtful this will become a trend however. I presented this information to a couple homies. One shared his opinion: “Luckily, I don’t really watch TV besides sports whenever I get a chance…but I’m not more or less likely [to watch TV], it hasn’t really changed my opinion.”
However another friend proclaimed he would watch TV less knowing it could lower his sperm count. Heads up ladies, you might have a lot of baby sitting ahead of you messing around with some guys.
Either way, you’ve all been informed. Do as you contend with this bit of knowledge. Take frequent visits to Best Buy to avoid a little Jr. running around. Or, be Mr. Bicep Tricep. Get in some sit-ups, push-ups and make a few deposits at the bank.
