My perspective on the taboos of sex

I have been writing the sex column for The Signal here at Georgia State for over a year. Recently, my column has become a more realistic account of my sexual experiences. Some readers have voiced concerns that since the column has become more explicit, it has become inappropriate for the readers of The Signal.

I disagree.

Last year when I took on the role as the sex columnist, I understood (and still understand) that a part of writing so openly and honestly about my own sexuality would have backlash against both myself and the paper. I understand that some people will not understand why I write about my own sex life and I understand that some people will call me names for doing so.

I have accepted these facts since day one.

I began writing the sex column after taking a sophomore-level class on sexuality and realized that some students still didn’t understand basic human reproduction, let alone alternative sex acts and fetishes, which was something I had been participating in for many years.

In my search for my own understanding of sexuality (and my own understanding of what I wanted and needed out of my sexual experiences), I took on the endeavor of becoming sexually free—I stopped thinking of what I was doing as “deviant” or “slutty” and started exploring sexuality openly and honestly. I am not ashamed of talking and writing about my own sexual freedom. I understand that not everyone will agree with what I do and that’s okay.

I write because even though we have progressed in our own sexualities as well as being more open about sex in general, there are still taboos and subject matters that make us uncomfortable. We have a strict idea of what sex and sexuality should be and those who don’t fit into the idea of what a traditional sexual relationship should be, like me, become labeled as sluts.

In fact, I believe that many people are uncomfortable with my writing because I am a woman. I have made the choice to walk away from the conformity of heterosexual monogamy—something that many believe women should strictly adhere to. If a man wrote the column, would we have such a problem with it? Probably not. We are programmed to think that “boys will be boys” and women are somehow supposed to be less sexual, even sexually submissive, towards men.

With my column, the more people that read it and even more that talk about it (even negatively toward me), the less taboo sex and sexuality becomes. I have not said that I think everyone should have the kind of sexual life that I do. It’s not for everyone. But my goal for the column is to start conversations about exploring your own sexuality and exploring why we have “taboos” in society.