Resident Evil | “Retribution”

Consider your next date night: a trusty box of Junior Mints, an enormous bag of popcorn and a couple of comfy armchairs to spend the next couple of hours snuggling up in while pretending to watch a movie.

Sound nice? I hope you didn’t go see Paul W.S. Anderson’s “Resident Evil: Retribution.” If you did, then you can attest to the fact that your entire date night was taken on an hour and thirty-five minute unrelenting panic attack.

Milla Jovovich returns as the super-human “Alice” in yet another Resident Evil movie to do what she does best: kick ass and take names. Before you have time to start sighing about how the franchise will be driven into the ground, the lights have dimmed and the action has already begun. Alice is back where we left her, realizing that she’s far from the grasp of her former-employer-turned-evil-distopian-empire: the Umbrella Corporation. Umbrella has now gained more control of the world than ever before. They have continued to experiment with the deadly T-virus that has infected most of the population, turning them into mutated zombies. The remaining human survivors include Alice, who has a special kind of DNA that bonds with the virus, giving her unmatchable strength and agility. All other living humans remain in question as to whether they are resistance or foe, leaving Alice to take any allies she can get to fight against Umbrella’s sinister agenda, usually with negative results.

At the beginning of the film, Alice falls in epic battle and wakes up in the custody of her nemeses at an Umbrella testing facility. Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) plays the anticlimactic villainess who rallies to capture Alice throughout the movie. Other prominent villains and friends return with their alliance thrown into question (see Michelle Rodriguez, Johann Urb, Boris Kodjoe, etc.). However, if you weren’t already familiar with the flat, flip-flopping characters of the series or pretty simple plotline you can stop now. It will only agonize you if you try to follow them for the next hour. Now you may proceed and enjoy the film for what it really has to offer.

The movie, a spin-off of the popular video games with the same title, has appealed to video game aficionados and dabblers alike for years. It’s like watching a video game played out on the big screen; fight bosses, try to survive and level up, in that order. The action is so constant that you will be gripping your armrests trying to keep up. The film constantly aims to please with gripping combat scenes, intricate graphics and plenty of hot guys and gals slinging guns. It’s a gamer’s wet-dream and a moviegoer’s pleasant surprise.

Go ahead and familiarize yourself with the other Resident Evils. Box-office numbers alone tell that this franchise won’t be going anywhere, and after your date night, you’ll realize that you surprisingly don’t want it to.