Mix it up at the library

Kevin Maloney

Is there a break between two of your classes? Need something to do to kill some time? The Library is the perfect place to do some of your favorite activities, like standing by computers, sitting on the floor, and sleeping.

The first two floors are perfect for just hovering over computers and giving people guilty looks for using the computer to watch Netflix or use Facebook. The third floor doesn’t have much so you have to find ways to make it interesting. I recommend listening to music with headphones on, however don’t actually plug the headphones in and see how long it takes until someone confronts you for blasting music.

The fourth floor has a lot of books, which might explain why most people on this floor are sleeping or sitting on the floor. This floor is first come first serve for seating. A few select people grab as many chairs as they can, group them all together, and then fall sleep sprawled out across all the chairs they collected. If you’re too late for the chair-grabbing spree, the floor is your only other option. In every corner and on every wall there’s bound to be someone hanging out on the ground.

The fifth floor is the silent floor. It’s the perfect place to be ignored and no matter what pretend that you don’t see the person next to you. There are no exceptions on the 5th floor; even if someone sneezes everyone has to remain silent. Unless of course you get a phone call, in that case disregard the silent rules and proceed to have a conversation amongst people studying.

Remember, the goal on this floor is to be silent and ignore others, so if you are too loud nobody will actually confront you. If you’ve been to all 5 floors and think you’ve seen all the library has to offer, try mixing it up with these new activities:

  • Walk into an empty tutoring room and pretend to be a tutor when someone walks in. Hey if you’re smart enough to pull this one off, you’re probably smart enough to be a tutor anyway
  • Try to print out other people’s documents
  • Sell a library book to someone in the library
  • Find someone reading a book and try to start a fight with him or her
  • Find a group of people quietly studying on the 5th floor. Walk into the middle of this group and begin to cry loudly, try to predict who will be the first and last person to walk away.