“Big Talk” has been posited as the thinking man’s alternative to the rudimentary droll of small talk. The self-proclaimed “intellectual” can now take comfort in the wide variety of alternatives available to them. Instead of asking for someone’s opinion on the recent humidity, the latest UGA game, or their weekend plans, Big Talkers can now ask coworkers hot topics of supreme meaningfulness with none of the self-indulgent social motivations of small talk. These topics may include areas such as: Do you think there is a God? Is anything in our world real? Do aliens exist?
In a notable interview from the 1960s, presumed Big Talk advocate Woody Allen—famed boundary-pusher of filmmaking and legal marriage —asked model Twiggy for “her views on serious matters.” When he inquired about her favorite philosopher, she admitted she didn’t have one. When she turned the question back to him, he responded,
“All your basic philosophers… Just all of them.”
Big Talkers like Allen take pride in cutting through the superficiality of daily chatter, opting for enlightened conversations that promise to elevate one’s psyche. These topics of conversation seek to unravel the complexities of existence itself. Big Talkers reject meaningless engagement with everyday life, and bravely risk a reputation of pretension to promote elevated discourse with those around them.
The revolutionary questions raised during Big Conversations lead to unprecedented enlightenment, unless, of course, you’ve read any metaphysical or moral philosophy produced over the last 300 years.
While Big Talkers might assert, perhaps somewhat correctly, that there is value in deepening our relationships by exploring more vulnerable topics, small talk is far from meaningless.
Research from the University of Chicago Booth School of Business supports this, revealing that individuals who regularly engage in small talk with strangers tend to be happier overall. Small talk acts as a vital prelude to deeper connections, fostering a sense of community regardless of the given topic of discussion.
There is real value in engaging with the trivialities that shape our lives. Discussing small things like how our weekend plans might dictate our day with our neighbors, colleagues and classmates helps us gain a greater understanding of our positioning in our communities with respect to others.
Bonding over shared experiences—such as the weather or a recent episode of The Bear—often has a more immediate impact on our lives than abstract philosophical questions like “Are we truly conscious?”
The ritual of engaging in small talk can be deeply meaningful and an enriching way of inciting connections. Noam Chomsky often distinguishes between language and speech, where speech refers to words and language encompasses the experiences conveyed through those words. Although the speech of small talk may seem routine, the underlying language is rich and ever-changing, filled with simple exchanges that reflect our daily truths and experiences.
Discussions of the latest football game with a coworker don’t solely communicate plays, they communicate a willingness to engage and connect with another person on matters outside of work.
While many find small talk uncomfortable, the consistent rhythm of classic small talk topics offers those willing to practice the skill a quick payoff. A willingness to engage in mundane and less “deep” conversations can be highly rewarding. These interactions often lead to genuine connections and foster a sense of community, proving that even the simplest exchanges can enrich our social lives.
