There’s an age-old question that everyone asks at least one point in his or her life—can you have a successful friendship with your ex? Once a relationship has ended there are mountains of emotions––sometimes good, sometimes bad––but does that mean that there are too many emotions for a friendship? Is there a point-of-no-return with an ex? I think this is a tricky, slippery slope that you need to take with caution and a levelheaded mindset. If the relationship wasn’t the best, and there was a lot of hurt, I don’t think there can be a friendship.
I dated a guy for three years only to find out he had cheated on me. We had a nasty, dirty, salty breakup. The hurt was too intense to have a friendship. I cut him off completely. To me, if there wasn’t respect in the relationship, then it wasn’t worth it to keep the friendship going.
But if your relationship ended on a positive note, such as a mutual understanding that it just wasn’t going to work out, then I think that you absolutely can have a friendship.
Your ex has seen you in a light that your platonic friends haven’t and never will see; they’ve gotten to know you on an intimate level.
I’m friends with most of my exes. I’ve even gone on vacations with a couple of them post-breakup.
Now, I’m not saying this is the easiest feat, but when you get to that point of friendship where you’ve had a past, but are able to look beyond it, it’s unlike any other friendship you’ll ever have.
I went through a breakup at the beginning of the year. We were together for a few years, but we just weren’t happy anymore.
But that didn’t mean that I didn’t still value him as a friend. We’ve recently started hanging out again. We’re trying to figure out how we can stay friends, even when sometimes, we want to hate each other (and sometimes we just want to have sex with each other).
It’s not the easiest position to be in, but he knows me more intimately than anyone else in my life.
Once you break up with your significant other, take some time to yourself for a month or so—to get over the breakup, to heal the hurt and to focus on yourself. It’s hard to move on if you constantly have them in your life.
Once you’ve done this, think about your ex and decide if you still want them in your life platonically. If you do, sit down with them and have a conversation about what you want. Start your friendship fresh and you’ll realize it’ll be completely worth it.
