Springtime means three things in Atlanta: shorts, flip-flops and weddings. The latter is my least favorite. It seems we rush into finding “the one” faster and faster without any hesitation about making the leap into wedded bliss. I blame romantic movies and our culture. We’re forced to believe that someone who isn’t married by the time they are 30 has major issues. Someone like me, who doesn’t want to get married by choice, is seen as a social deviant. I get questions like: “But WHY? “You want to be alone forever?” or my favorite “Who will be there when you’re old?”
I have some issues with marriage. Here are a few:
1.I will not get married until EVERYONE can get married. My best friend is a lesbian, and I do not believe I should have more rights than her based on my sexuality. I’m making a stand with my best friend for her rights. My heterosexual love is not better than anyone else’s.
2.The statistics on marriage frighten me. I’ll admit it. I’m a logical person who, most of the time thinks with the left side of my brain. I make pro and con lists; I analyze and come to a sensible conclusion. Marriage statistics freak me out because of how dire they are—especially for couples our age. For example, 60 percent of marriages for couples between the ages of 20 and 25 end in divorce, according to the CDC. I know a handful of people my age who are on their second and third marriages. I don’t want to be that person.
3.I don’t feel like I need a piece of paper to be committed to someone. My boyfriend is Swedish. He has a European view on marriage—he could take it or leave it. He says that marriage in Europe is more about practicality, not about finding “the one.” I think that if you are truly committed to someone, you don’t need a permission slip from the government saying it’s official. I like knowing I’m coming home to someone who wants to be there, whether there is a binding contract or not.
Maybe you’d say I’m cynical. I prefer to see myself as logical. Does it mean that I’m not excited for friends and family that get engaged or married? Absolutely not. I just know for me, at least during this time of my life, marriage is not for me.
