So far, the hardest part about studying abroad has been saying goodbye to the people I care about back home. It’s been a week since I kissed my girlfriend goodbye at the airport and stepped onto the airplane to Mainz, Germany, and I already miss her and all my friends.
I had a party shortly before I left with all of them. I don’t remember much of it, but I’m told I spent most of the night going to each individual and ensuring that they know just how much I care for them and value them as people and friends.
It’s a very daunting prospect to look ahead and see yourself being away from home for the next 300 days, and that’s why I avoid looking ahead too far. I was fortunate enough to find applicable advice for my situation as I was finishing “Infinite Jest” by David Foster Wallace. While the advice is for recovering addicts struggling to stay sober, I think it fits quite well to my situation.
Wallace’s advice is this: build a wall between yesterday and tomorrow and focus only on today. Live in the now. Wallace says trying to look at everything in front of and behind you would be like being Evil Knievel jumping over monster trucks on a motorcycle. One car, two, three, not so bad, but look ahead and see 300 of them stretched out in front of you and you probably won’t make it.
After how long just this week has been — and believe me it has been a very long week — if I spend too long looking over the wall at all the other weeks and months I will spend here, I might just go crazy.
So when you arrive in the country you will call your home for the next however many months, don’t focus on the length of time you’ll be there. There are many other things that demand your attention In the now, especially right after you arrive.
Questions like, why are there two buttons above my toilet? Why are all these bicyclists getting mad at me when I walk on the pink section of the sidewalk? How long should you be friends with a German before making a Nazi joke?
Add to that all the bureaucratic ins and outs of arriving in a new country and registering at a new university and you should have plenty to focus on to help you get through the initial phase of homesickness.
Although I can’t say I still don’t miss everyone there at home. And free refills, too.
