Coming into college, I knew dating would be different than it was in high school. I was under the impression that it would be taken more seriously, going out on dinner dates and whatnot.
But in college, going out in public together isn’t done until deeper into the relationship. It’s more common for the first date to be held in the dorm than actually going out.
Now, when I say “in the dorm,” it could mean watching a moving in the living room, but more often than not, the movie watching is taking place in the bedroom. Being in the bedroom, lying in bed together makes it easy for one thing to lead to another. We all know what “Netflix and chill’ means.
I understand the convenience of saying, “Come over,” when you might live two floors above each other or just a short walk across the Commons lobby, but also take into consideration what message you are trying to send about yourself if you’re lying in this other person’s bed before you’ve gone out on a real date.
I’ve been there, done that, and I don’t feel bad about it. But I’ve done a bit of growing up lately, and I feel that I deserve better. If I’ve ever been on a bedroom date with someone, I no longer talk to them. After all, it was nothing more than a light, casual, “Hi, how are you?” conversation. But I should’ve guessed that based on how the “relationship” started.
So, before you go on your first date, figure out what you want to come from it. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, so if that’s what you want, go for it. But if you want whatever situation you’re in to become something more, I suggest not having your first date in the bedroom.
Get wined and dined first. Doing this shows where your head is and what your intentions are. If you and this other person are going to actually date, then why would they be opposed to going out on a real date first and not a rinky-dink hangout in Georgia State housing?
We’re in the heart of downtown Atlanta. It’s not hard to walk somewhere together to go and eat or hop in an Uber or the Atlanta Streetcar. The first date will set the tone and somewhat foreshadow what’s to come.
If the first date is in the bedroom it gives off the vibe that the relationship will be based on sex. But when the first date is out and about, even if it’s a quick dinner at waffle house and a walk through Centennial Olympic Park, it will set the tone for a serious relationship.
Not to mention when you are sitting at a restaurant face to face you’ll quickly learn whether they are worth keeping. You won’t notice if they are on their phone when you’re chilling on Twin XL cot.
Whatever you want from the person with whom you want to be intimate, meaning sex, a relationship or both eventually, you should make them earn it. And at the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with a free meal.
