Remember the Muckrakers: Episode 1

Intramural season is upon us, ladies and gentlemen. This year, The Signal is embarking on a new path to glory. A staff-wide intramural squad was set up under the name, “The Muckrakers” (don’t tell us it is not creative). 

The team, the lovely brainchild of editor-in-chief Daniel Varitek, managing editor Will Solomons, associate news editor Ben Coletta and, of course, sports editor Espen Indrisano, entered unfamiliar depths and began its inaugural beach volleyball campaign this past week.

We’re sure you are all desperate to learn about the team’s misfortunes and, inevitably, awful performances, so let’s take a look at how things fared for your faithful journalists.

You would be wise to expect journalists to understand the rules and regulations of intramural sports in their entirety, but apparently that was not the case.

The team, who only rostered one lady, had to play shorthanded (four versus three) since no more than two men can occupy the sand at a time, as per the co-ed rules of Georgia State intramurals.

As a result, the first week’s circus was only intensified. Indrisano was the recipient of some brutal spikes from the other side of the net, including a few from ladies who made him look like quite the child. His overall performances were a disgrace to the sports desk. OK, maybe that was a bit too far. He was one of the team’s top scoring players, to be fair.

Defeat in the first match was sealed by an impressive serving performance by Me So Goni, who defeated The Muckrakers in straight sets.

Match number two also saw the team defeated, again in straight sets. The 0-2 day sent the team back to Muse’s Lofts, where a copious amount of Corona and Pabst Blue Ribbon helped the “gladiators” drink away their sorrows.