Recently, I was on a date with a very successful Atlanta lawyer. We went out for a drink, and half way through the date the subject of the “types” of people we were attracted to came up. I was honest and said that I don’t really have a specific type and that I’ve dated very physically different men.
The lawyer’s response stunned me: “As long as you haven’t dated anyone besides white guys we’re fine.” Check, please! Why, in 2013, are we still facing interracial dating taboos? In this progressive time (DoMA overruling, anyone?), why do we still have a 1950’s mindset about love and attraction?
I went online to research what people had to say about interracial dating. You know-how they feel about dating someone outside their race, what they think when they see interracial couples in public, and how they think their family and friends would react if they had an interracial relationship.
Unfortunately, most of the articles and comments were negative and judgmental. I was shocked! Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of interracial dating, I want to point out some positive aspects of dating someone outside your own race.
1. You’re taking a social stand (whether consciously or not) that you are happy in the relationship and with your partner, no matter the color of their skin. If you don’t get the support or encouragement of the relationship from friends or family, you’re saying you’re still strong enough to keep perusing the relationship, regardless.
2. Interracial dating is an opportunity to learn and have a deeper understanding about cultural differences. More than likely, you can both grow in your relationship by sharing your different experiences, which only gives you both a stronger bond.
3. Dating outside your own race opens you up to finding a connection with someone that you may have not found otherwise. I think that only dating within your race limits you from meeting someone incredible because you’re hung up on the color of his or her skin. If you find someone that you share a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection with, you need to run after it, because those connections are very rare.
4. And lastly, if you date interracially you may be happy and you may fall in love. This is true of any relationship. But being able to see past any risk you think interracial dating entails can open you to happiness.
*Writer’s note: My name is Rachel and I’m a junior here at Georgia State University. My column will be about sex, dating and relationships. I believe that even though our society has become more open about sex, it’s still a highly taboo subject. If we want to become more open and accepting then we need to start with education. I want my readers to become smarter about their sexual health and more open to experimentation. I write about my own experiences as a single girl dating in Atlanta. I’d love to get feedback, questions, or anything on your mind about sex, dating, or relationships. Tweet me @rachelkingsley