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Chivalry isn’t dead, guys are just selective

The one thing I dislike about taking evening classes is the long wait for the shuttle to Turner Field in the cold. After a long day of work and classes, the last thing I thought I’d have to worry about is a seat on the shuttle, especially when there are at least 10 guys who can give up their seat.

If I see a guy sitting while I’m standing, my immediate thought is, “Surely he’s about to offer me his seat.” Imagine my surprise when not only does he not offer his seat, he complains about how uncomfortable he is. To add insult to injury, another young woman comes on the shuttle and the guy literally jumped at the opportunity to give up his seat. I couldn’t help but think if I was more his type that seat would’ve been mine.

I’ve heard a lot said about this generation and the problems we have. We lack morals, manners and the days of courtship are over. Situations like the one I described force me to agree with the naysayers. Though this may be true for a lot of people, we can’t discredit the gentlemen and ladies who still exist.

I guess you can blame it on my upbringing; all the men are raised to be chivalrous and the women are expected to act and be treated like ladies.

But what about everyone else? By talking to my coworkers and some of my friends, the conclusion I’ve come to is that chivalry has been redefined. The interaction and dynamic between men and women changes often. Courtship was the norm for older generations and not to say their lifestyle is obsolete, but younger generations’ dealings are different.

For example, my mother says that if she were going on a date the guy would come to the door and greet her. Nowadays a text that reads, “I’m here” gets the job done. I don’t expect a formal greeting for every date, but for the first few I think it’d be nice.

Expectations differ from generation to generation as well as person to person. Everyone doesn’t require the same hopes or have the same desires; my policy is to each his own.

Let me reiterate: I was raised and taught that gallantry is to be expected, but I understand everyone wasn’t brought up the same way. That being said, any guy interested in dating me will know my hopes upfront. Let your expectations be known right away. If chivalry isn’t important to you, that’s fine too.

As long as there’s an understanding between you and your significant other, everyone else’s relationship policies don’t matter.

Some people believe that chivalry is completely dead. There are either people with no standards or people with standards too high. You just need to find someone whose style matches yours.

Personally I associate chivalry with respect. Chivalry and standard isn’t only about courtship; there’s a bigger picture.The form is different, but the goal is the same. Don’t expect a certain behavior if you’re not willing to reciprocate.

So ladies, don’t accuse guys of being thirsty for holding a door open, and guys, stop mistaking politeness for flirtation. Set your own standard and be comfortable with it.

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